ALEX JAYNE

Introduction

Long time no post! With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’ve been wanting to share this story/feeling etc. Side note Valentine’s Day is my least favorite holiday with New Years coming in second. LOL

I don’t think I have ever told this story and maybe I’ll make a video on it.. still thinking about it. But first I do want to note that I still am “naive” and a “nube” when it come to relationships. I am working on not attaching “too quickly” or whatever. Who knows it may be a deep seated issue coming from being adopted. All I know is that I’m not as fucked up as some other people I know. Or at least I hope not! Haha Long time no post! With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’ve been wanting to share this story/feeling etc. Side note Valentine’s Day is my least favorite holiday with New Years coming in second. LOL Most everything in my life has fell right into place so naturally, with great timing. This minute part of my life has not yet, and it is frustrating. Too bad I can’t control others.. Sigh

A new experience

I have been a pretty long term relationship and it was good. We just didn’t have a lot of common interests which I quickly learned is important. Fast forward maybe a year later after that relationship had ended, I began talking to an old friend. I thought we hit it off really well, we went on a date and talked not stop. It was easy talking to him. Flirting was fun too. We went on a date which I thought went well, but nothing really happened after that. It was a big blow and was extremely hard for me to understand. He started a new relationship with someone soon after our date and boy it hit me pretty hard. I guess my understanding of dating was very skewed lol (and still is I guess, I’m working on it). It took me forever to “get over” him and stop romanticizing stupid shit. He was actually the one to say try writing, and here we are. A year goes by and he still views my IG stories, follows me, etc.;Now they are happily engaged and I wish them well. I was a little down (not in every aspect of my life just relationship wise; the weddings I was in that year did not help my feelings of bitterness lol.)

Ground Hog Day?

I remember the exact day my old friend and I went out for dinner that year. I don’t know why, but I do. 2021 rolls around and I was feeling a little down on a Friday night. It was exactly one year since that date and my friend sends me a text that says “Hey want to meet up downtown?! We want you to meet someone.” It was one of their friends and I was pretty excited, I mean I was down to just have some distraction. I go and I am so freaking late because traffic was horrible (of course), and I couldn’t find parking.. just the usual. I go meet up with my friends and I meet this pretty nice guy. We chat a little and I do my usual “I’m adopted” speech etc. and we started kind of talking about our interests. I felt like we had a good amount in common. I made sure he was at least my age haha. It was cool. Side note: I loved his voice (I know random).. That night he gets this strange call from someone (99% sure it was a girl) who was clearly mad (It was kind of funny/confusing to me). The night was good pretty chill I had a drink and then we call it a night. Oh we also got pizza at this place that we normally always go to and I got a water as usual. Haha

A couple months go by and I see this guy a couple times at friends parties and I start to get a crush..oh boy here we go again (as the tiktok goes) *laughy face emoji* We flirt kind of I guess… okay I on my end I thought we flirted. Turns out he was talking to someone so I gave up hope, but then he followed me on instagram which really surprised me. One night after getting home from a little cookout thing we start messaging on Instagram and we talk a bit. I hate things like Snapchat (that’s a whole other post for another day), but I could never remember what the fuck we were talking about because the messages going back and forth were a bit slow. We have a good time talking and fast forward a few weeks, we go on a date. It was super chill, fun, I felt comfortable. I ended up staying there until like 4am! Again, I felt like our common interests were well matched (jokes on me). He was great to talk to. After that date things were slow.. why does it feel like ground hog day?!! Anyways, he began a new relationship too and they aren’t engaged (yet). But as history shows, ya never know?!

The point of the story

This brings me to the whole point and why this post is titled: It’s not Her fault. In both cases the “girls” probably didn’t even know I existed. It’s really not their fault. It’s really not the guys’ fault either. I get it, it’s just who you click with and who your are genuinely sexually attracted to. Unfortunately I was to both… damnit. -.-

Girls are crazy

In another experience I was the “chosen” one. It was in high school and this guy I was with in Spanish class and I started talking a little. He was very sweet, almost teddybear like. Well, one girl that was my friend and in my major found out this guy and I were chatting and freaking sub-tweets me. It made me feel so incredibly uncomfortable. I get it. I know the feeling. I would never get made at someone, someone who has nothing to really do with the situation. I would never make any other girl feel that way, the way I did, about talking or dating someone I was into. It is not okay in my book to attack or even speak to the person who is in the relationship or friendship. I was once there.

I am afraid of girls. All girls. Woah they be scary man! My first boyfriend/kiss was with this guy I liked a lot. (funny enough I liked his twin before liking him.) Anyways, I thought things are going smoothly in the 10th grade and out of the blue this guy deletes his whole Facebook account! I am not joking. I was so confused! I looked on Twitter and this girl tweets “You better sleep with an eye open tonight.” The next morning is the day I found the Facebook account was deleted. I wish I still had the screenshot! But she must have said something to the guy. I was so dumfounded that this girl who was like 2 years older than me wrote that. I could never be so cruel to someone.

In Conclusion

In conclusion, well I don’t really know… This felt good to write. I think I’m all good with all of the people mentioned in this long winded post, expect for the girl who threatened me on Twitter LOL. Damn relationships are hard, at least at this age. I truly wish though that there was some sort of communication that happened like a form you fill out that says “hey I’m not interested” after a given amount of time your have been talking. I mean when I don’t vibe with someone I let them know in a nice way. I did get closure with my old friend and that was nice. We talk on occasion. And well the other one I still see at the parties woop woop, not any real closure, but I’ll always wonder what he got me for my birthday.. I’ll let you know if I ever find out lol! (Update: so the source does not remember, might have been food, but he has forgotten lol)

Anyways thanks for reading if you made it this far!

I hope you have a great day 🙂 Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel; here’s a video on my first kiss. Happy Valentine’s Day to all the singles out there, you’re a bad bitch and someone has a major crush on you. XX